Living in San Diego means that if our family is not part of the military world, often we are connected to families who are. I’ve been sharing the recent developments in my family life – my anxiety/stress/guilt/whatever comes to mind – and yet, I have the support on a daily basis of my husband, Rob, who rocks my world and also nourishes 21 other little lives each weekday in his classroom. What would I do without him? I would put one foot in front of the other, is the answer…
But how do my friends whose husbands are in Iraq or overseas DO IT?
When I was 2 1/2 my mom and I lost my dad to Crohn’s Disease. I have no recollection of that time and I don’t “miss” my dad the way you miss someone whom you have memories of. I think of him. Who he was. How he must have interacted with me. As a wife now, I think of how he and my mom ,must have lived together, parented together, dreamed together, worried about me together.
My mom didn’t have a lot of support from him in taking care of me during those first 2 years of my life, as he was very sick for most of it. She was constantly going between the hospital and home and work. I know she must have been on auto pilot because that’s what us moms do. Did she stop and take a breath when she layed her head on her pillow at night. What were her thoughts before she finally fell asleep?
What do these women whom I watch taking care of their families 24 hours a day, with their men gone, think about at night?
I just completed a private group of mini-sessions for a local mom’s group. I’d photographed most of the families before, but this was the first time I met some of the dads who had been in Iraq at our last mini-session. I get easily overwhelmed with emotion and, I didn’t…but I wanted to give everyone the biggest hugs…and cry and tell them how amazing all of them are. To endure separation…to still be kind to your children, to strangers, to your friends and family. To come back together and still click…still feel connected AND to parent your children together.
The crying I wanted to do, and did do as I was Super-RAD-on-izing their images, wasn’t sad-crying. It was overwhelmingly joyous-crying. Grateful-crying. That these babies have their family back together. That these families are sacrificing daily for me, for my family, for our country. I’m so thankful and deeply moved. Their faces are in my thoughts when I lay my head down for the night.
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** Not All of the families in the Mom’s group are military families…but/and they are an amazing gathering of families who have watched their littlest ones grow over the last year and a half.
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On Pandora: Frank Black



















































